That is the questions I keep asking myself. I am tired everyday, no matter how much I sleep. And it is dragging me down and down. I am not even sure how to put it into words. But even as I write this, my fingers drag and my eyelids are heavy, asking to just close for a bit and sleep. That little bit of sleep would turn into hours though.
I am not sure what to do with chronic fatigue. There is no simple answer and I feel like I am in a pit, digging and digging trying to find my way out, only to find myself further down in the hole.
Of course, there are questions I ask myself after the why's continue to roll around in my head. How are you going to complete an art show? How are you going to survive this point in your life? What if it never gets any better? What if it gets worse?
The post I wrote last week about Self-Care was mostly for myself, but I am still struggling with the idea of truly taking care of myself. I often wonder what the point is and why I should even bother.
This post today is not about an answer; it's just about honesty. Chronic fatigue is real and a horrible struggle. Your brain is fuzzy and you can't remember what you did that morning. One day, I had to ask my mom in the afternoon if we had talked that morning, literally like 3 hours earlier because I couldn't remember.
I am trying to figure out what I am going to do about this. All I have come up with is that I need to set up a regular sleeping schedule, cut back on gluten, and be walking regularly. But even that sounds like a mountain to climb in order to accomplish those things. Mental illness can really beat the motivation out of you.
Sadly, this is part of life and sometimes we have to learn to deal with the struggles that life deals us.