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Artistic Inspiration on a Blah Thursday

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Artistic Inspiration on a Blah Thursday

Ok, so I had a weird Wednesday.

By weird, I mean that really good stuff happened and really bad stuff happened. So at the end of the day, I wasn't exactly sure how I should be feeling. All I knew was that I was tired. Exhausted.

The good news was about the art show...things are moving forward in good direction. Some meetings were set and some decisions were made. And hopefully soon, I will have a space to paint and sculpt and create in. That is was the hope is today. It's looking fairly good, but I am still praying.

The bad news... well, apparently I haven't done my work at my day job the way some people want it done and it came back on me. Hard. Especially since it was about my writing, it made it a difficult pill to swallow. And obviously, as medicated as I am, I am used to swallowing pills. This one came with a little more humiliation and embarrassment.  

After so much emotion, by the end of the night, I was very ready for bed.

As for an art update, I have my projects for the art show planned out and scheduled for creation. There are about 25 pieces and then a series of about 100 small drawings that I am working on. It’s definitely a lot of work, but I am excited to do it. Some of the work is already in progress and some of it is still waiting for the supplies to be bought. But I feel good about the schedule that I am on.

To be honest, last week was full of anxiety and yesterday felt like I got the first wave of relief in about 1.5 weeks. Lots of panic attacks were had and late, sleepless nights. I spent a lot of time wondering what I was doing wrong with my life and why I couldn’t just calm down. Some of it, I do not even know why I was struggling with anxiety. I know that part of it was because there was a lot up in the air about the event and I was nervous. But more so, I just didn’t trust that there was a plan. And there is only so much I can do on my own. Taking more time to write and read and create was helpful though. In hindsight, I probably should have done much more of it. But when you are in the middle of anxiety or depression “doing” is the last thing you want to do, whatever it may be.

My therapist gave me some good insight on Tuesday...she said right now is almost a calm before the storm time. And because I am aware that I am about to get very, very busy, I need to make sure that I do the things I want done before the storm hits. So I was like, what do I want to do? The answer: reading, duh. That always gets brushed off when work becomes really busy, but something I miss very much. So my goal is to read quite a few books in the next few weeks or month. What are some of your latest favorite books? To be honest, I probably will not be able to add them to my list, because man, do I have a long list, but I would love to hear about them and have them for future reads. I’m always down to talk about books anyways. You might have noticed that since I’ve reviewed books on my blog. I have made sure to limit it to creative and inspirations books though, but I really do like a wide variety of literature.

So how about it? What are you reading?

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AHHHHH!

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AHHHHH!

        I am in a weird place today. I feel mustard yellow, which is a color some people love and can pull off really well. And other people not so much. I feel in between those people.

        Really, I just want to sleep. Haven’t slept much this week so I know my judgment is slightly impaired because of that. That’s part of being a creative though. Some weeks, sleep is a wonderland. And other weeks it’s a big angry grizzly bear looking for its honey. Sometimes I feel like the grizzly bear. Then I drink lots of coffee.

        Creative ideas are bouncing around my brain like ping-pong balls and I cannot seem to catch them. I feel that everything about my world is saying, “Shhhh, slow down; sit still. Everything is okay.”

            And I’m just screaming.

 

            AHHHHH!

 

            What am I thinking? What’s going on in my brain? Was that a real idea? Do colors seem brighter? Or maybe the world is just blurry…

 

            I shouldn’t have more coffee. Where am I going? Metaphysically or physically? I don’t really know the answer to either. Maybe I’m asleep this very second and don’t know it. This morning in my little bit of sleep I dreamt that I was Katniss Everdeen getting ready to fight a zombie horde. No joke.

            I really love snow. Unfortunately, I live in Texas so it’s mostly a one-sided love. The sooner I get back to Colorado, the better. I feel the need to throw snowballs right now. It’s not something that’s going to happen, but it’s a desire nonetheless.

            Those days when I wake up and my hair is just BAM. Perfection. Love those days. Today is one of those days fortunately. So I kinda feel like a wacked out Disney princess. Maybe Rapunzel, she’s pretty crazy. I wouldn’t mind Flynn Rider; I like the ruggedly handsome types.

            I wish I had a tiny dragon. At first I thought dinosaur, but I was like no, have a dragon, duh. Obvious choice for me. The plus of having a full sized dragon would be getting to fly, but it would be hard to keep it safe from the world and I couldn’t bring it with me wherever I went. Plus, I love tiny things.

            Ok, I think that’s enough written crazy for one day. But I have promised to be honest on my blog and show all sides of the creative life, so I couldn’t very well ignore today because it wasn't “normal.” Who cares about normal anyways? Certainly not me. 

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